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Significance – disappointment – who are we now?

What does it matter anyway? Have you ever thought that? What does it matter if I don’t make the bed today? What does it matter if the weeds don’t get pulled til tomorrow? or the next day? 

Without using a lot of jargon, I think we’re all going through some ‘growing pains’ or maybe I should call them ‘recalibrating pains’ in our world today.  And the ‘recalibrating minutiae’ is big too. As our worshipping community begins to imagine worshiping in person together again, we could lose ourselves in the ocean of minutiae (not to diminish the importance of detail) about reopening – standing 6 feet apart, keeping the ‘spraying’ of water droplets out of our mouths into the nostrils of others to a minimum.  As important as all these details are, in order to protect the health and safety of our worshipping community as well as visitors – there are global issues swirling about in the mix.

All summer, I hope to focus on our ‘searching for significance’. Sounds kind of simplistic, doesn’t it? Like the theme for a Star Trek episode. But I picked it on purpose having read the old testament passages chosen for the cycle of readings this summer. The book of Genesis is filled with ‘larger than life’ personages – Abraham, father of nations, Isaac – his hope for eternity. But the significant moments in their lives are often unveiled through minutiae – (the making of small cakes of fine flour for 3 holy visitors, the Lord hearing the voice of the boy Ishmael as he is hidden under a tree for safety, and making a great nation of him, along with Isaac).

What are the (seemingly) small things in our lives now from which we can take heart as things change and shift?

I am a person who has always been able to think, and contemplate deep things while my large muscles are busy. Weeding, digging, even cleaning, organizing; let’s go further – hiking, and exercising. Are you like that? I’ve also always been able to worship more fully if I am able to use my body – to lead a congregation in prayer, or singing, or preaching. And so, worshipping in these days of no inperson worship has affected me. Perhaps it has affected you.

This week, I went to a march for George Floyd. We got there early (as we had been asked to) in order to pray for the marchers and all those involved. And very soon, we were asked to ‘take a knee’ together. Well, friends, I tried. And I failed. I have had 3 surgeries on my knees, and the last one seems to have made kneeling impossible – it felt like the skin itself was ripping open as I tried. And so I ‘half knelt’ and felt BAD the whole time! Self talk was going crazy in my head about what a ‘woosie’ I was to not be able to kneel. And by the time, I realized I could ‘kneel in my head’ and have an attitude that matched my neighbors in order to honor the slaughter of a human being – it was over. I spent all my time kicking myself and missed the opportunity to ‘kneel’.

We have lost so much in these past 12 weeks. We missed in person worship for holy week, easter, and pentecost. Folks who aren’t particularly computer savvy have missed even more than those who are watching the videos we record. But, I worry, friends, that we will spend so much emotional energy “missing” what once was, and may never be the same again, that we will miss the opportunity for what God is creating new in our midst.

Holy Cross has been a church of outreach for many years. We do it really well. People show up every week with snacks to take to Washington Elementary on Friday. You all give canned goods and food for Marion Polk Food Share. You volunteer to run movie night for the neighborhood kids. But we haven’t done that much lately. Most of our volunteers are in the bracket of folks who should stay home during the pandemic – and stay away from being infected. So, who are we if we aren’t showing up for outreach every week?

I don’t know yet. It might take a while for us to know what’s next and how we do it. But, I am hopeful we can silence the emotional energy that is ‘missing’ what once was, and lean into the opportunity to learn something new. To be something new.

And so, my friends – lean towards significance, won’t you? Touch the disappointment, and imagine what’s next won’t you? God’s blessings to you all – Pastor Patricia Hughes